A - lonely Soul

After more than a year now, I still find it difficult to move on. How do you move on when you know that she was the one you wanted to marry? That if you both didnt throw in the towel so easily, everything MAY have worked out otherwise. That you wanted her to bear you your children.

If only you knew...

how much tears I shed when I decided to let you go...

how much alcohol-laced nights failed to knock me out and then I wander the streets reminiscing about the times I held your hand and we would walk and talk and walk and talk...

how we kissed and hugged more than a dozen times as we seemingly take in the sights at the museum...

how I wrapped my arms around you as we watched the sun set over from the top of Mount Faber in our cane chairs...

how we would share tze char dinners in my room and sip wine from cute little bottles...

how we would "molest" Ginger whenever she's in the neighbourhood...

how I nearly got the very famous Changi Village wantee mee stall wrong and we ended up getting our bums wet on the beach, watching the jetplanes fly out of the big round moon...

how you laughed like a little girl when I took you on the touristy bumboat ride...

how you would give me a reverse kiss as I lie in your arms at the playground where the big dogs roam...

how I teased you with my casual remarks that you were a "special friend" when you asked what we are on to and by the time we were done, you had become "the girlfriend"...

how disappointed I was when you didnt put up a fight when I wanted to end it all...

how dejected I was when I needed someone to talk to when I am ready to share and you weren't there...

how crazy I was over you...