When insomnia hits

Too much to think about.

"Do what you like and starve" does somewhat seem relevant to me. I gave up on a higher-paying job that would also give me a relatively normal life and everyone's giving me the quizzical looks. Yes, irrational I seem.

But what about love?

That's priceless.

I love what I am doing now. I am close to the music that invigorates and cheers me. I like it when people like what we do for them. It's a great feeling when I saw how appreciative the Sander van Dorn fans were when we brought him in. I love it when I see how the very same people I used to share the dancefloor with (and still do) know where the music's at.

You cant put a value on that. Nothing.

But it's a real world. People are quick to judge you by the car you drive and the colour of your credit card. You cant change people but you can change yourself. I just have to play along. It will take a bit of work but so what? I am not delusional. Never did I think things will drop in my lap. Heir to an estate I am not.

I will work at it.

But I didnt want her to work that hard. The ones dear to you, you dont want to see them slog. No. It hurts. Besides, I will feel bad about not being able to take her out on a Sunday brunch picnic and pillow talk on a Saturday night in. She deserves these.

But now, it's beyond me.